I was halfway through 'Get Lucky' by Daft Punk when the uber-positive endorphins hit (having already played 'What Now' by Rhianna, 'Wrecking Ball' by Miley Cyrus and 'Moves Like Jagger' by Maroon 5 - yes I am an unashamed fan of cheesy pop music!!!).
Suddenly I got this hugely positive uplift in my thoughts. My hips were shaking, my arms were waving in the air, my 2-year-old nephew was dancing around with me, the music was loud and I was hit with a wave of happiness…
And my thoughts went something like this…"Why am I worrying about silly not-drinking dreams! It's fab being sober! I love my sober life! I love not being a miserable boozer any more! We're up all night to Get Luckyyyyyyyy!!!!!"
Maybe it was wonderful Paul's comment on my last post "you're living the real dream - being sober!"… or the perceptive eedoubleu from the NoMoreSally blog who seemed to have me completely nailed and said "sometimes even the most optimistic among us need a little cry". Actually it could have been any one of the lovely, kind, wise, thoughtful comments I got on the last post (I've said it before and I'll say it again I really really really really love and appreciate all your feedback.. you guys really do help me).. anyway, whatever the reason I felt great once again.
And lets be clear… even when I am having woe-is-me dreams or a little cry at my kitchen table I am never anywhere near actually considering drinking alcohol. I don't do that any more. And anyway, alcohol does not have magical properties.
Alcohol does, however, have brain numbing properties, and we humans seem to enjoy a bit of brain numbing every now and then because lets face it, sometimes being a human can be hard. But I choose to live raw nowadays, and not blur the edges of my mind like I used to.
I choose raw.
Love, Mrs D xxx
