This is the 3rd time we have moved in 5 years. Five years ago we relocated cities and I was boozing merrily like the boozy person I used to be.. lots of wine to get me through. Bottles and bottles and terrible sleep and hangovers but managing everything fine.. just with an added dose of pressure on top courtesy of my beloved vino. And lots of suppressing my sadness at leaving our friends behind.
Then 1 1/2 years ago we had to relocate cities again (back to where we started) and I was newly sober (about 6 months) and there was no way I could practice any emotion suppressing. I cried and cried and cried and cried saying goodbye to our wonderful new friends. I still slept badly (brain noise), ate lots of sugar, craved wine a bit but was very determined about my new lifestyle choice so didn't drink, but felt really stressed and cried so many tears I could have filled a river. Felt quite glum about the whole thing and took a while to lift myself up even after we arrived here in this new suburb.
Now we are just moving within the same suburb from our rental to a newly purchased house. I am still stressed and not sleeping well (brain noise) and we all know about the sugar binging (I have been trying hard to keep a lid on it and also not beating myself up too badly)…but I am not in the slightest bit tempted to drink because I don't do that any more.
I am reminded constantly about how alcohol is wedded into the fabric of our society. Yesterday doing the final pre-purchase inspection at the new house the vendors were pointing out the cupboard under the stairs "perfect for the wine collection!" Ha ha everyone laughed and me too but I felt a bit annoyingly awkward.
And I'm sure when we finally pick up the key today from the real estate agent he'll probably give us a congratulatory bottle of bubbles. Isn't that what real estate agents do? In my previous experience they do anyway. And, you know, champagne is how we celebrate everything.
But not for me ever again. In 15 years time when one of our sons announces he is getting married I will be celebrating with orange juice. In 30 years time I'll toast Mr D's retirement with a futuristic ginger beer. Forever more I will be giggling along with people when they make jokes about wine and deep down feel a bit different from everyone else. Because I live sober. And that's not very common is it.
Actually who knows.. maybe in 30 years time drinking alcohol will be considered anti-social. Maybe I'm on the CUTTING EDGE! Maybe.
Whatever the case I told Mr D last night that the cupboard under the stairs would be perfect for storing all the camping gear. He agreed.
Love, Mrs D xxx
