There's a really amazing feeling in the air... like things are shifting and changing...it's a positive feeling...a good feeling....I feel kind of excited and forward-moving. It's hard to explain, and there's nothing specific happening for me.. it's just that I feel like my life is shifting and moving forward and there's positive momentum. I've hit some sort of different place where the 'getting on with living sober' is occurring.
It's an amazing feeling... I have to tell you. And I would LOVE to know from those sober longer than me (just checked I'm 601 days, 20-odd months sober) if this is a normal step in the process. It's lovely, quite freeing... my life is wide open before me.
Maybe this happiness is related to the amazingly wonderful weekend away I just had BY MYSELF staying with a girlfriend.
Maybe it's because of the wonderful Cupcake Brown book 'A Piece of Cake' I read before I went. So life-affirming and powerful - how to turn even the shittiest life around. I do so recommend it.
Maybe it's because of this article I read in the Guardian online by a concert pianist about following your dreams. It's so inspiring. Read it, then find him playing on YouTube and have a listen. It will lift your soul (it did mine anyway).
Maybe because of all this I've started reading The Happiness Project again .. by Gretchen Rubin. It's kind of silly and ridiculous in its simplicity, and a kind of uptight and really methodical way of making yourself feel better but it is full of ideas of things to do to improve day-in-day-out living.
I think if you make a decision to do something like remove alcohol from your life.. if you work fucking hard to follow through with that decision, gritting your teeth through the really hard times.. slogging away sluggishly through the low times... adjusting and coping and managing to do it... over time you start to believe... really start to believe in the power that you have inside to direct your own life. I firmly believe we all have that power. Feel it... know that it is there...poke it... prod it a bit... exercise it... built it up... watch it grow. Go for it.
Love, Mrs D xxx
