I remember one day before I gave up booze sending my out-of-town sister an email in which I wrote in very witty style (I thought) all that I had achieved in the day. I was buzzing from a really crazy busy day - and obviously wanted to share/gloat about what I'd been doing... running around after kids, in and out of school and kindy, appointments, gym, supermarket, making beds for guests yadda yadda yadda. I remember being very proud of what I'd achieved and how well I was managing such a busy life.
'Oh look at fabulous busy me' (was the subtext of the email).. 'how craaazy is my life!!!' My gorgeous sister responded with an appropriate 'Wow! What a day! You're amazing!' - type email, and I felt very proud of myself.
I neglected to mention the bottle and a half of wine that I had managed to fit in (glug) during the latter part of the day (starting at 5pm ON THE DOT of course). Something made me leave that detail out. But sure enough, as was my want, I had managed to fit in some enthusiastic wine drinking on top of everything else.
It's amazing how I managed to run around achieving everything a busy housewife/mother/part-time-worker needs to achieve AND drink wine steadily and heavily throughout the week. How great is the boozy housewife's capacity to add extra pressure to an already busy life? You get that numbing sensation, sure. But also the hangovers and sick guts and mental guilt and anguish. Why do we punish ourselves so?
So here I am now, still a busy housewife and mother although the part-time-work isn't around any more and my MA thesis is delivered so the studies are over. And of course I'm sober.
I've still got a bit of work to do in learning how to deal with gritty emotional states without reaching for something. Lately it's been crap food and sugar. I've got to step up the other things that make me feel good. Exercise is a MAJOR mood enhancer for me and even though it doesn't come easy I really have to make sure I keep doing it regularly.
Other cliched things like burning lovely oils to make the house smell nice. And I've just bought a juicer! That is a big cliche right there but I want to try making those green juices that everyone is raving about.. full of goodness and fills you up nicely.
Also just remember to lift my eyes and look to the horizon - look out of my immediate surroundings to lift my mood. Look for beautiful things. And music - music definitely makes me feel better.
Love, Mrs D xxx
