Mr D is away overnight for work yet again so once more I am faced with a sober evening home alone on the sofa. By 7.45pm the kids should be down and the kitchen tidy so I can relax.
In a past life I'd start drinking at 5pm ON THE DOT and have a good bottle in me by 7pm, performing my usual masterful technique of housewifeing and mothering while filling up with vino. Multi-tasking to the max! I was really good at that .. really really good at it.
Well there was that one time my glass got knocked over by one of the kids and red wine went splattering across the white wall and I kind of lost it in anger because that was the last booze in the house.
Oh and there was that other time I was holding my eldest and kind of stumbled a bit and fell and dropped him (semi on the sofa but also kind of on the floor). My in-laws were there for that one and everyone laughed. Maybe they all didn't realise I'd been drinking more than the rest of them.
ANYHOO enough of that dwelling on my sloppy drinking past - on to the future! The now! Yes the now... another sober Saturday night alone on my sofa with nothing to celebrate or reward myself with.
American Idol? Fine except Nicki Minaj annoys the bejingos out of me (I made that word up).
Chocolate? Trying to cure my sugar addiction so no. No no no.
Chips and dip? Too gross and unhealthy.
Mug of green tea? Yep might as well have one of those.
Bubble bath? Got no bubbles but do have some essential oil, lavender and something. So yes, a bath would be nice.
Paint my nails? Could do.
Read a book? Yes I have a new one to start so could do that.
Sigh.
Ok. Or how about this?
How about I realise life isn't about rewards and celebrations. How about I sit in a lovely clean house with my beautiful boys asleep and breath deep and slow and thank my lucky stars that I have what I have.
How about I realise that calm contentment, although sometimes masking itself as boredom and monotony, is absolutely the best gift life has to give me.
How about I realise numbing myself out with wine when I'm sitting alone on that sofa, which is what I always used to do, is really sad loser behaviour and I am extremely lucky that I am not that sad loser any more.
How about I sit at the computer with headphones on and blast my eardrums out with lovely pop songs that will fill me with happy endorphins? Cheesier the better!
There's a plan. 7.45pm - bath. 8pm - songs. 8.20pm Green tea and American Idol plus the laptop so I can catch up on other lovely blogs. 10pm climb into bed.
Sober Saturday night sorted.
Love, Mrs D xxx
