Still thinking heaps about the fact that I'm sober all the time. Kind of over it but for some reason it's pretty front and centre of my mind. Lately I've been thinking lots about how it's lucky that I actually don't want to drink alcohol. I said to my dad the other day 'it's not the not drinking that's hard, it's the learning how to live sober that's hard'.
I keep a very clear picture in my mind of that boozer that I was, and it makes me shudder. I always think of how I'd go to the toilet 3-4 times in the evening, progressively getting more and more pissed .. doing the short walk to the loo and then sitting there staring at the back of the door thinking 'I'm pissed'. So gross. Stupid solo boozer me. It was quite a solitary pursuit, my drinking. Especially in the latter years when I was mostly at home because we had kids and Mr D was a shift worker so going to bed very early in the evening.
I also think how I was always driving and debating whether to buy wine, and always stopping at random bottle shops to grab a bottle or two. I never had stores in the house... had to get on the day what I wanted to drink that night.
I grabbed a random book from the library in the 2 minutes the boys gave me to look. It's called The Gentle Art of Domesticity and in it the author talks about how the number seven is often a magic significant number in fairy tales (seven dwarfs, ravens, years, brides, sisters, daughters, brooms, wonders and spells). She then lists the seven things that give her great domestic comfort. A fun exercise. Here are my seven domestic comforts that give me great pleasure and happiness..(not counting my family, that goes without saying).
1) My bed. Love it. Have a new cover that makes it even more heavy and snuggly.
2) The fluffy white rug at the end of our bed.
3) The radio. It keeps me company. Keeps me stimulated. Keeps me entertained. Keeps me informed.
4) My cookbooks. A growing collection now that I have really started focusing on teaching myself how to cook better.
5) Gorgeous tea cups. I have a large collection of tea cups. They're everywhere.
6) Our rice cooker. It's new! It cooks rice!
7) Girly stuff. Jewellery. Hair products. Hand creams. Lotions and potions. Scarves. Nail polish.
I'm working on appreciating all the things that I have, that I love. Learning how to feel good in a raw state without having to fill up with wine.
Love, Mrs D xxx
